Should I Stay or Should I Go
When you find yourself in the midst of an ethical dilemma at work, you often face the decision whether to stay or to go.
This is not a simple decision nor is it the only decision you need to make.
You also need to decide if you are going to do something about the situation. This is often an even harder decision.
Your decision includes four options – not two:
- Stay and do nothing
- Stay and do something
- Leave and do nothing
- Leave and do something
The most common advice from career advisors seems to be to “Leave and say nothing.”
Although this is a reasonable suggestion, it may not necessarily be the best choice. The action you take needs to take into account how important a particular issue is to you and others, including any potential negative impacts, and the extent to which you can realistically do something about the situation. Unfortunately, with the current reality of coordinated retribution, a decision to do or say something may need to include considerations of your personal safety and that of your family.
There are a number of factors that can impact your decision. To help clarify the situation, consider questions such as:
- Is this an ethical issue or is it a difference in values?
What one person views as a significant ethical breach, others may view as normal and acceptable practice. If your values are significantly different from those you work with, you will probably be more comfortable if you leave and find a place that is more aligned with your values.
- Is the issue something that happened in the past or is it likely to happen again?
None of us can go back in time. The important consideration is whether this is likely to be an on-going or recurring concern. Have changes been made and are they sufficient to prevent future occurrences of unethical behavior?
- What options do you have for action?
What is realistically within your power to address?
If others are informed of the situation, can and will they take appropriate action?
If you do inform or involve others, what will be the impact on you and others you care about?
What you end up deciding to do is a personal choice based on your values and ability to bring about change. It may not be an easy choice and you may not make the best choice but you do have to choose. What is important is being aware that you are making a choice, even if you do nothing, and being aware of, and hopefully prepared for, the likely consequences of your choice.
Related Resources:
Individuals are rarely thanked to raising awareness of an ethical issue at work. The common response is described in a Fast Company article:
“[My] fears materialized over the following months. I was stripped of most of my responsibilities without explanation. I was excluded from important meetings I had once been a key member of. I was given nearly impossible yet arbitrary goals to reach – goals that had nothing to do with my professional experience or goals. I was told my performance was sub-par….”
https://www.fastcompany.com/90462318/this-is-what-happened-when-i-stood-up-for-ethics-at-work
One of the worst form of abuse potentially associated with raising an ethical issue is called doxing (or doxxing). Doxing involves harassing you by posting confidential information, personal information such as your home address, and outright lies on the internet in order to encourage others to virtually and/or physically attack you.
You need to be aware of this possibility and consider whether you need to take precautions to protect yourself. Check out the following:
https://ethics.berkeley.edu/privacy/protect-yourself-doxxing
Staying and attempting to address an ethical issue from the inside can be very difficult. For an in-depth discussion of this, check out the following article in The Atlantic: “The Patriot”
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2023/11/general-mark-milley-trump-coup/675375/
If you stay, it is important to be aware that you may be drawn into the unethical behavior or be set up as the “fall guy” when the issue is exposed. As General Mark Milley found out, recognizing when you are being drawn into unacceptable behavior can be difficult.
There are a number of movies that address the issue of responding to unethical behavior. One of my favorites is The East. The film explores the appropriate response to corporate ecological damage and ecoterrorism.
